Oh, you are SO lucky!

June 19th is going to be celebrated as Father’s Day, and perhaps the timing of this piece is just right. I have a huge issue and today I’m going to address that here today.

I was out for dinner with a few girlfriends a couple of nights ago and happened to mention this in passing to another friend who immediately asked where the kids were. “At home, where else?” I said. “Oh, you are so lucky. ‘K’ is able to babysit them so well in your absence. That too both the boys,” she said. I smiled and said nothing. Then ofcourse there is always the  ‘friendly’ aunty in the park who is over enthusiastic in her praises for ‘K’. What a wonderful father he is, he plays with the boys so well, he is always looking out for them in the park especially when ‘R’ is riding his cycle, she always says to me when she manages to corner me in the lift.

I keep thinking of all these statements that are made to me and wonder what I am to say. Yes, my husband, the father of my sons is extremely hands on and can manage the boys just as well and sometimes even better than I can. I have no qualms in openly accepting it and why should I? Parenting should be gender agnostic and in our household we truly practise it.

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K changes diapers, makes the boys sleep, constructively engages with them, reads to them, feeds them, and does pretty much everything that I do. Sometimes even my parents are slightly aghast at how easily K ‘handles’ the boys, but shouldn’t he be easy with them is my point. They are his kids too after all. So why all the fuss?

Next time someone tells me I am so lucky, I am going to say a few not so nice things to them, so make sure you don’t say it to me.

 

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